...when you least expect it to!
I know this might sound silly, but part of me feels like years have literally FLOWN by in the last two weeks. So much has happened and I keep wondering if I'll ever be able to return my simple world to its original simplicity. I realize that is probably impossible -- V can't ever be the same... -- but all the same, a bit of restored sanity in my life, me thinks, would be a good thing. I don't know how most people "normally" respond to events like the ones that happened to me over the last few weeks, but if their response has been anything like mine there'll be a long line at the cosmetic surgeon for implants for over-stretched cheeks! I'm quite positive that I've been one BIG smile for 2 weeks solid! :o)
I've started thinking about this whole idea of change. I realize that I'm not going to be "ME the V" for forever -- by default, I suppose, I'm going to become "ME the V" within the larger framework of the D&V grocery chain. I'm excited by that fact and yet at the same time not entirely sure how to approach it. "Things" will have to change but I'm not wholly clear on what all "things" those are. Getting married isn't simply a transfer of names, a new address, and (wahoo!) a new license picture to replace the ugly one that forever haunts me. There's so much more to it... I'm a people watcher and for years I've watched married people -- I know the things I don't want to do (all those annoying habits that drive me up a wall about some folks) and the things that I do want to do, but the whole issue of "when" lingers there. Yes, I'm engaged and I do love the D -- but I'm still ME and think 'til my dying day I'll be the V, right? So, while yes, we're venturing into the world of competitive chain grocery stores, I can still be the mom 'n pop market on the corner right? With all my specialties and wacky gadgets and such, yes? I'm assuming the D&V trademark and all that comes with that, but I still get to be just plain "ME the V," right? I know, that probably doesn't make sense, but one of the things that has always bothered me about marriage is being swallowed up by it, ceasing to exist. I love D so very much and want to honor God by becoming one with Him -- but at the same time, God made me V and gave me gifts, talents, and abilities. There's got to be balance there and I'm so grateful that D values me for ME -- that he loves what makes me unique and encourages me to chase my dreams. I just have to chase them now in the context of US -- not simply me. I think that's kind of nifty....... :o)
Ramblings of an over-tired mind, no doubt!